Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sometimes it Sucks

The title of today's blog comes from a long conversation I had with my friend who admitted that "If asked, I'll tell people having a disability doesn't change anything. But really, sometimes it sucks."

Of course, sometimes evereything sucks. Being a writer on submission sucks. Being a mom with two squalling kids sucks. Having all the money in the world and no one to share it with sucks. But I don't have first-hand experience with those things. I do have experience with being an adolescent with a disability.

Trust me. It sucks.

Knowing that no matter what you do or want to do you will have to figure out the extra costs of things that for everyone else are a luxury and for you are essential (from more frequent cabs to cleaners to bandages and medication) sucks.

Knowing that the organizations out there who are supposed to help you often just want ot stick you away somewhere that may or may not be the best place, with a job that may not be fulfilling or at all what you want to do sucks.

Planning where you want to live based on public transportation and medical facilities sucks.

Being very away that you can't make the sacrifices other people make to achieve the same dreams as you sucks.

Feeling like you have to live up to people's beliefs about the angelic, uncomplaining, people with disabilities sucks.

Frequent pain, lethargy and being stared at suck.

But what doesn't suck is the knowledge that you've succeeded in an arena that no one expects you to. What doesn't suck is the determination to be who you want to be even if society makes it difficult, or nearly impossible.

And what doesn't suck is being the one who is willing to sit here and tell you that even though sometimes it sucks, sometimes it rocks and and sometimes it's\ mediocre.

Just like everyone else's life.

Because sometimes, life sucks. (And sometimes it doesn't)