Monday, January 30, 2012

A Confession

Oh Blog World, a confession. I do not generally have an issue with social anxiety. I like making friends, hanging out with people and such. But I am horrible at socializing in groups. I attribute it to many things. I'm short, so that doesn't help with those times when you're mingling, and you get shut out of the circle, and you try to work your way into the circle, but you're at elbow level, so you're also trying not to get hit in the face and....


Also, I'm kind of a strong personality. You'd think that'd work well in a group, but.... well. I take some getting used to. And that's fine in, like, groups you see all the time. People from my program, my sorority sisters, old high school friends. It's fine. But new people tend to give me sidelong looks, shuffle to the left and shut me out of the circle.

Before accidentally elbowing me in the face.*

So, yesterday I had agreed to go to a Nerdfighters meet-up at the Prudential Center. But I woke up and REALLY didn't want to take the bus+T, or walk+T or really anything at all to get there, because it is maddeningly inconvenient for a place that is a mile away, especially to spend two hours being awkward (and I know, Nerdfighters, but trust me MY AWKWARD KNOWS NO BOUNDS).

Plus, from the excuse factory, I was ill all week, so even though I was useless, I didn't actually do productive things. Yesterday, I edited half of a manuscript, snuggled with my large stuffed frog, watched a massive amount of Vlogbrothers videos and read a book.

I regret nothing. I was a productive, writerly person, and it was awesome.

*This hasn't actually happened, except in my nightmares


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