Thursday, January 13, 2011


I had surgery in early December to combat the lymphadema issues I've had in my lower legs since I was about eleven. I've had the surgery once before, but the swelling got out of hand again after the two infections I got last year.

Secret: I've been obsessed with boots my whole life. Heeled boots, ankle boots, riding boots-- you name them, I coveted them. Of course, by the time I was old enough to do so, I wasn't able to wear them thanks to the build up of excess skin around my ankle.

Last Sunday my mom and I went to the store and bought Uggs. There's still enough excess skin that probably all boots wouldn't work. Also, there's swelling in my calf which would make anything but ankle boots difficult. The thing is: that doesn't show. From my foot to my jeans, my legs are covered. No more socks bulging out, or skin hanging over the ankle of my shoe. No more jeans riding up, or weird bubble of skin under the tongue.

When I realized I was thinking this, I wondered: is it all about hiding even now? I look down at my legs, and get so excited that they appear skinny and, well, typical, and I wonder what my motivation was. Is it still, after all these years, to seem a little bit more normal. Perhaps.

But I also know it's more than that. It's making sure my feet will be dry(ier) in the snow. It's being warm, covering my body. It's that they're really fucking comfortable.

And it's fulfilling a wish I've had for years and years. So what if it's a little ableist?


1 comment:

  1. Boots (and YOU!) are awesome!
    There is nothing wrong with wanting to have what most other people seem to have. The trick is not letting it consume you, and being happy when you get it, but still happy if you don't. You seem to have a good grip on that. :)
    But SO happy for you that you are able to wear them! There is a LOT of snow in Boston! hehehehe....